Lockout Inspires Goofy Questions

[Way Of The Ray <wayray@ix.netcom.com>]

                 [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
                 NBA lockout inspires some goofy questions
                 Saturday, October 24, 1998

                 By Bob Kravitz
                 Scripps Howard News Service
                 Good morning and welcome to all-smack radio. Our toll-free
                 number is (800) PAB-ULUM. That's (800) PAB-ULUM. If we had
                 operators, they'd be standing by.

                 But we do have a 19-year-old kid named Chaz who's working
                 our board as part of his community-service requirement.
    
                 Today's subject? The NBA lockout. So give us a call. Let's
                 kick this one around. And remember, our trivia question -
                 it's been out there for two weeks now - is: Who is John
                 Feerick? Get this one right, you get a $50 credit at one
                 of the 400 off-shore gambling deals we advertise here on
                 all-smack radio.
    
                 Remember, forget your illegal back-alley bookie. We have a
                 call. Ryan, you have an answer to our trivia question?
   
                 Uh, well, yeah, I think so. Isn't he the guy who used to
                 wear the rainbow wig and hold up the John 3:16 sign?
    
                 No, sorry, that's been guessed twice before.

                 Ah, too bad. Actually, I was calling about the Denver
                 Broncos. You think they can go 16-0? Also, I have Kerry
                 Collins on my fantasy team. Do you think I should activate
                 him this week?

                 Thanks for the call, Ryan. The answer is yes, no, and can
                 we please get back to the subject at hand? The NBA
                 lockout. Already, games have been canceled. No Michael, no
                 Shaq, no Priest Lauderdale. Are you pro-union? Pro-owners?
                 Hard cap or soft cap? Should the players get 57 percent of
                 the gross revenues, or 52 percent? You make the call.
                 Again, (800) PAB-ULUM. Oh, and don't forget, I'll be
                 mud-wrestling our morning-show host next Tuesday at
                 Shotgun Willie's, so you'll want to be on hand for that
                 one.
      
                 Let's go to line 2 and Harry.

                 Yeah, longtime caller, first-time listener. I've got a
                 guess on the John Feerick trivia question?

                 Go ahead.

                 Um, wasn't he The Who's drummer after Keith Moon?

                 Sorry, no. Would you like to offer an opinion on the NBA
                 lockout?
 
                 Nope. Not really.

                 Don't you care? Aren't you concerned about the
                 arbitrator's decision that the owners won't have to pay
                 out $800 million in guaranteed contracts? Won't that be
                 the thing that sways the advantage either to the owners or
                 the union? It's my strong impression that the union will
                 begin to weaken. Don't you, the listening audience, care
                 about what might happen to our local NBA franchise?

                 What NBA franchise?

                 The Nuggets, Harry. The Denver Nuggets.

                 Are they still here?

                 Next caller. Zelmo, you're on all-smack radio.

                 Yeah, I wanted to talk about the lockout.

                 Finally.

                 OK, yeah, so, um, what do you think is wrong with the
                 Colorado Avalanche?

                 What's that have to do with the lockout?

                 Uh, nothing. But your board op told me I had to talk about
                 the lockout and mentioned to me he has a violent criminal
                 past.

                 Goodbye, Zelmo. Rastaman from Boulder. What's up?

                 I've got an answer on the John Feerick question. Isn't he
                 the University of Colorado's offensive coordinator?

                 Incorrect. That's Karl Dorrell. Line 5, Kip.

                 Yeah, hi. John Feerick. He was a Broncos replacement
                 player, right? While I'm on, you think the Broncos can go
                 16-0?

                 Goodbye, Kip. Charlie calling on a car phone. Good
                 afternoon.

                 I just wanted to call in and express the opinion that I'm
                 all for the lockout. I believe it would be in our, um, the
                 league's best interest to sit out the rest of the season
                 until the Pepsi, um, sorry, until ownership gets a fair
                 shake from the union. My team, uh, excuse me, the NBA's
                 teams cannot flourish in this environment.

                 Charlie, any guess on our John Feerick question?

                 No, I have no clue, but I wanted to say I feel strongly
                 the Broncos can go
                 16-0.

                 Copyright (c) 1998, St. Louis Post-Dispatch