R.E. Graswich: Lockout About Stupidity

[Way Of The Ray <wayray@ix.netcom.com>]

                                [THE SACRAMENTO BEE: R.E. GRASWICH]

                                What's the lockout about? Stupidity   

                                By R.E. Graswich
                                Bee Staff Writer
                                (Published Oct. 14, 1998)
    
                                Kings fans caught a break Tuesday.
                                They escaped their obligation to pay
                                to watch the Los Angeles Clippers,
                                Dallas Mavericks and Minnesota
                                Timberwolves visit Arco Arena in early
                                November. No way. No how. No makeups.
                                Thank goodness for lockouts.
 
                                There's the silver lining, the bright
                                side to the labor strife that will
                                bring down the curtain on a remarkable
                                51-year honeymoon between workers and
                                managers.

                                Like all good things, it had to end.
                                The NBA and its players have been
                                slouching toward divorce for several
                                seasons, snapping at each other across
                                the dinner table, taking separate
                                vacations, making threats that sounded
                                more like promises.

                                Now the split has turned real. The
                                league has canceled the first two
                                weeks of the campaign, firing a shot
                                not across the bow but into the
                                boilers, where it figures to hurt.

                                This means war. And this means
                                failure. David Stern, the brilliant
                                tactician who guided the NBA from the
                                rocks of irrelevance to the deep blue
                                sea of prosperity, has lost his grip.
                                Any fool can cancel games -- just ask
                                Bud Selig. It takes a genius to keep
                                the show running when greed is lapping
                                at the knees.

                                "The reality is we had no choice,"
                                Stern said after pulling the plug on
                                early November.

                                His chief purser, Russ Granik, noted,
                                "In terms of reaching a deal, this is
                                the worst we've ever had."

                                Fans will hear a lot about greed as
                                the litigants dig in. Greed began
                                making its way into the conversation
                                months ago. NBA officials declared
                                half their clubs were losing money.
                                They pointed fingers at young Turk
                                players, unproved kids who showed up
                                for their first day of work demanding
                                contracts worth more than the value of
                                a franchise.

                                Who can argue? Nobody this side of an
                                NBA agent or an NBA mother can
                                establish beyond reasonable doubt that
                                Chris Webber is worth $10 million a
                                year. And he is relatively cheap. His
                                contract is worth only about half the
                                value of a bad team.

                                Sure, NBA players are greedy. So are
                                Wall Street brokers and Silicon Valley
                                software engineers. The nice young
                                lady who serves coffee at a
                                fashionable 28th Street bistro isn't
                                greedy. But she swears her boss is.

                                The NBA lockout isn't about greed any
                                more than it's about breathing 10
                                times a minute or being hungry each
                                morning. That's life. The lockout is
                                about stupidity -- dumbness as it
                                relates to the people who made the
                                decision to give Chris Webber and his
                                pals $10 million per year.

                                Chris may be many things, but he's no
                                armed robber. He won his contract the
                                old-fashioned way. He grew tall and
                                hired a lawyer and found a sucker
                                willing to pay.

                                Now the sucker is experiencing that
                                sinking feeling that comes the morning
                                after too many drinks the night
                                before. Real estate agents have a term
                                for it: Buyer's remorse.

                                NBA owners aren't engaged in
                                collective bargaining. They are
                                suffering a collective nervous
                                breakdown. They realize they paid too
                                much to certain players. They see the
                                hyper-inflation that turned their $30
                                million hobbies into $120 million
                                bastions of equity are overextended.

                                Prices have peaked. The market is
                                falling. The NBA is a hedge fund
                                searching for a bailout.

                                NBA owners want to eliminate a hole in
                                the salary rules that allows them to
                                pay unlimited money to gifted players.
                                As it stands, the rule doesn't force
                                the owners to throw piles of cash at
                                anyone. It just gives them the
                                opportunity.

                                Eliminating the rule would mean
                                nothing more than saving the owners
                                from themselves. The rule is named for
                                Larry Bird. A better namesake would be
                                Gomer Pyle. The rule is an idiot's
                                delight. The owners stepped in it.
                                They deserve what they get.

                                Kings fans are fortunate. The first
                                cancellations wiped out nothing
                                important in Sacramento. If anything,
                                the cancellations saved the Kings some
                                embarrassment -- three unappealing
                                home games and a tough eastern trip.

                                Here's a solution: Fire the owners.
                                Let the players and their agents
                                organize the schedule. Let them keep
                                all the money. Name one fan who pays
                                to watch an owner. I'm waiting.

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