Gary Petersen: Lockout Least Of NBA Worries

[Way Of The Ray <wayray@ix.netcom.com>]

   Contra Costa (CA) Times
   Published on November 6, 1998                        
                                                          
   GARY PETERSON                                           

   Lockout is the least of NBA's problems

   THERE'S ONLY ONE offseason development worth mentioning in the NBA.
   Here's the update:

   It appears David Stern's beard won't be ready for next month's
   Grizzly Adams festival in the Yukon.

   The lockout? Oh, that's stumbling right along, too. Tuesday night was
   supposed to be opening night. Ten games went unplayed. Among other
   things, you missed Washington at Philadelphia (let's say, Joe Smith
   with 19 points, two rebounds and an assist in a losing cause), Boston
   at New York (Patrick Ewing sets an NBA record by spending 17 seconds
   in the lane without getting whistled), Indiana at Miami (Rik Smits
   and Alonzo Mourning ejected for fighting; Pacers win 52-39), and
   Seattle at Golden State (Adonal Foyle does some good things in his
   four-minute stint before a crowd of 7,283).

   There's more to come. The entire November schedule has been trashed.
   You'll miss 185 more games, featuring Philly's Allen Iverson pounding
   his chest after making one of two from the line, Lamond Murray going
   1-for-7 off the bench for the Clippers and Utah's Karl Malone backing
   in, backing in, backing in, backing in …

   If you want one (bored) person's opinion, the NBA has bigger problems
   than the lockout. The game has slowed to a crawl. Shawn Bradley is
   standing at the 3-point line while Cedric Ceballos runs the "iso"
   play for Don Nelson's Mavericks. The Sonics' Gary Payton is scowling
   at the world, and the Lakers' Kobe Bryant is waving Shaquille O'Neal
   out of the lane so he can line up his next dunk.

   The lockout has one thing going for it -- it has kept Michael Jordan
   in the game, at least for the moment. Suddenly Jordan, who has more
   money than the rest of us put together, is the voice of the common
   man. He's one of the guys, barking at Washington Wizards owner Abe
   Pollin and demanding respect on behalf of the players.

   The fear last spring was that Jordan would retire because he had run
   out of challenges. Apparently the lockout has him stoked.

   He would be in the minority there. People would miss the start of the
   baseball season because nothing else is happening that time of year.
   An NFL shutdown would enrage the betting community (read: just about
   everyone you know). Remove the NBA from the fall sports tableau,
   however, and it leaves a pretty small hole. For example: The TNT
   cable network aired "Rain Man" in place of the Knicks-Celtics game
   Tuesday night. At least "Rain Man" gets interesting before the final
   two minutes.

   Issues? Nobody outside the game cares. The average player makes $2.6
   million. The league generates revenues of $2 billion annually. Jordan
   made $33 million last season. The owners are crying poor, but no one
   has seen any of them rummaging through dumpsters lately.

   Choosing sides in this mess is a waste of time when you could be
   doing something more constructive, like taking a nap or learning to
   smoke. It eventually will be settled one way or the other. When it
   is, the season will be rendered a superficial exercise in
   face-saving, with a jury-rigged 40-game schedule, the mad scramble to
   sign 200 free agents, and the crowning of a pretend champion.

   Whatever the resolution to the labor nonsense, the NBA still will be
   peddling a flawed product. The league will continue its trend toward
   extreme youth and punkish behavior. It will continue to feature
   alleged stars, like O'Neal, who don't take the game seriously.

   In its biggest disgrace, it will continue to take the world's finest
   athletes and meld them into an aesthetic nightmare. You can watch
   Penny Hardaway palm the ball as he walks up the dribble. You can
   thrill to the Rockets' third illegal defense call of the quarter.

   How many steps can a guy take this season without getting called for
   traveling? You and your friends can start a pool. How many times will
   the Knicks break 75? Watch John Calipari and Rick Pitino try to
   orchestrate every breath their players take while on the floor.

   Hey, maybe this appeals to you. Maybe you enjoy watching Malone
   bulldoze backward while getting hammered by an undersized defender.
   Or O'Neal clanging a couple free throws late in a close game. Or the
   biggest collection of really, really lame teams the league has ever
   known. Or four guys standing around doing nothing while another guy
   goes one-on-one.

   If you think about it that way -- a bunch of bored-looking guys
   standing around watching another guy work the floor -- the lockout
   isn't that far removed from the contemporary NBA experience. You may
   even grow to like it.

   If not, you can always fill those empty moments watching David
   Stern's beard grow. For pure, heart-stopping entertainment, it beats
   the hell out of most Sacramento Kings games.
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                         © 1998 Contra Costa Times