NBA Christmas Wish List

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   Published on December 20, 1998                           [Image]
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   NBA: MATT STEINMETZ                                      to a friend

   A Christmas list for NBA's labor-impaired

   ALL RIGHT, IT'S true. We're late with our Christmas shopping, and
   this year there's not even the excuse that the season has kept us
   busy.

   But there is still time to pick up a few items for the men
   responsible for the NBA lockout. Here's a list of what some of the
   key figures in the dispute need to find under their trees Friday
   morning for there to be a settlement by the New Year:

      * Commissioner David Stern: A mirror. Hey, David, look at it. Of
        course, the commissioner gets paid by the owners, but what
        happened to working in the best interest of the league?

   And the league means owners, players, fans, officials ... everyone.
   Stern, widely thought of as one of the greatest commissioners to
   preside over any sport, can kiss that description goodbye if he's the
   man at the helm of professional sports' only canceled season. If
   that's the case, he shouldn't be surprised when he looks into that
   mirror and sees Bud Selig.

      * Union director Billy Hunter: A good cause. This poor guy has
        been put in the hopeless role of trying to get more money for a
        bunch of millionaires -- and having to sell it to the public.
        Even if his intentions are noble -- and the verdict isn't in on
        that -- the cause isn't. And that's all that matters at this
        point.

   Somebody give this guy something to work with. Advocating for the
   homeless, defending animal rights, protesting nuclear war. Anything
   beats this gig.

      * NBA player representative Patrick Ewing: The jaws of life.
        Perhaps the only instrument that would successfully remove his
        size 16 from his mouth. Ewing, the starting center for the New
        York Knicks, should never quit his day job. Oh, that's right, he
        doesn't have one.

   On more than one occasion Ewing has tried to paint NBA players as a
   group of starving artists. For his next public relations move, he'll
   arrive at the next negotiating session wearing a "Will Dunk for
   Food," sign.

      * Heat center Alonzo Mourning: Directions. This guy is lost. How
        else do you explain his presence at bargaining sessions?

   Don't you want calm, cool, even-tempered personalities trying to
   hammer out a labor contract? Mourning has been suspended more times
   than Latrell Sprewell's driver's license. And speaking of Sprewell,
   do you get the feeling he'll be next to the podium representing the
   players after a meeting?

      * Agent David Falk: An airplane hangar. This guy needs somewhere
        to store his ego. When the agent for Michael Jordan and Ewing,
        among others, isn't front and center ripping Stern and the
        league, he's behind the scenes playing the role of
        ventriloquist.

   Falk is such a big fan of Falk he was last seen in a Las Vegas hotel
   lobby signing autographs for fans. Talk about a sign the Apocalypse
   is upon us: an agent signing an autograph. Or worse: fans actually
   asking for it.

   SEASON-ENDER: Last July, Warriors forward Adonal Foyle broke his foot
   while playing in a summer league game in New Jersey.

   This summer, Foyle had more bad luck, this time while playing in the
   San Francisco Pro-Am league at Kezar Pavilion. It seems Santa Clara
   guard Brian Jones is blaming Foyle for the dislocated kneecap he
   suffered in a July game.

   On Monday, Santa Clara announced Jones, considered by many scouts to
   be a pro prospect, won't play this year because of the injury.

   Jones had made a steal around halfcourt during a game and was headed
   downcourt for a layup. Foyle, playing on the opposing team, was
   trailing him on the play and tried to block the shot. The Warriors

   forward ended up nudging Jones in the back, and Jones fell awkwardly
   and injured himself. At the time, Jones thought he'd be able to
   return this year. And he's not pleased with Foyle, who apologized at
   the time of the incident.

   "My thinking is that if a guy is going for a breakaway layup in a
   summer league game, you don't go after him to block his shot," Jones
   said.

   A POINT BY THE ORIGINAL POINT: Celtics legend Bob Cousy may have
   formed the Players Association, but he's not a fan of it.

   "I'm ashamed I ever started the Players Association," Cousy said this
   week. "The owners created this Frankenstein, and now the monster is
   ready to turn around and eat its maker. For the first time in my
   life, I regret starting the Players Association."

   Cousy said he remembered fighting to increase players' meal money
   from $5 to $7 per day and reducing the exhibition schedule from 24 to
   16 games.

   "We all loved the league, and we were getting paid to play a child's
   game. We didn't want to go into insurance like everyone else."

   Cousy also said he thinks inherent racism in this country will hinder
   the league from completely regaining its popularity.

   "The other issue that's going to affect basketball is that we live in
   a racist society, so the fact that 80 percent of the league is black
   is going to give bigots out there more opportunity to turn off and
   bad-mouth the players," he said. "Not that people like that need
   reasons."

   THE BONUS: Another old-timer rips the players. This time it's former
   Minneapolis Lakers great George Mikan: "It's a sin, isn't it. From
   what I see of the present players, they are not responsive (to the
   past). They don't think anything of the old guys, the guys who built
   the game for them. It's disheartening to hear the average players,
   when asked about some of the old-timers, not to know of them or care
   about them or anything."

   Edition: LD,  Section: B,  Page: 4

                         © 1998 Contra Costa Times